


keep me (epilogue)

by misspamela



Series: pocket boyfriends [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Bittersweet, Long Distance Relationship, M/M, Pining, just a little epilogue, realities of idol life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-24 00:59:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13800051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misspamela/pseuds/misspamela
Summary: Idol life is tough on a relationship.





	keep me (epilogue)

**Author's Note:**

> This is just something I've had kicking around since I first wrote keep me in your back pocket. I finally realized I'm not going to do anything else with it, so I cleaned it up a bit for posting. It's a little bittersweet here, but trust me, these crazy kids make it work in the end.

After Yoongi debuted, it was almost impossible to meet anymore, even rarely. They tried to find time, they really did, but if Yoongi thought he had no time when he was a trainee? That was nothing compared to the interviews, practice, variety shows, practice, recording, practice, writing, practice, performing, and more practice that his life had become. He wasn’t complaining. It was everything he’d ever dreamed of back in his tiny Daegu bedroom, but god, sometimes he missed Kihyun. 

They kept in touch mostly over KKT. Skype and facetime, on occasion, but they both felt awkward and self-conscious doing that, so it was rare. They tried and failed spectacularly at phone sex one night, giggling so loudly that Jimin came over and knocked on the hotel door to see what was wrong. 

After Jimin left, Yoongi jerked off, remembering the sound of Kihyun’s loud, breathy laughter. 

Then No.Mercy happened and Yoongi didn’t miss a night, no matter what else was happening. The other guys watched with him, loudly cheering Kihyun and yelling at the judges. Yoongi watched with Hobi tucked into his side, clutching his hand under the blanket. Kihyun couldn’t contact anyone while he was filming the show, so Yoongi couldn’t even check in to see how he was. It was brutal to watch, even though Yoongi felt like it was obvious that Kihyun was the best vocalist on the show. But talent wasn’t the only thing that mattered in an idol group, not by a long shot, and Yoongi tied himself up in knots trying to imagine what was going through the heads of the judges. 

When it was over, Yoongi shot him a text immediately that said changing your name in my phone to monsta x kihyun.

Kihyun called him back right away, the sounds of celebration in the background. “Hi,” he said, sounding raspy and choked with tears. “I did it.” 

“You did it,” Yoongi said, suddenly fighting off his own tears. “I fucking knew you would.”

After Kihyun debuted, forget it. There was no time for anything anymore. Bangtan was big, getting bigger, and Yoongi was waking up in hotels all over the world. He and Kihyun never talked any less, but it was hard to keep up in different time zones. 

Still, he talked Kihyun through how to handle his first time on Weekly Idol (“Let Jooheon and Minhyuk do all the talking.”) and his first time on ASC (“Doesn’t your maknae speak English? Let him deal with it.”) and how to make it look like he’d had a full night of sleep for photoshoots. (“The makeup noonas are your best friends. Be their favorite. And use green tea masks every night”)

They talked and talked, as much as they could with their schedules. It was never awkward or distant, but they didn’t try the phone sex thing again, and Yoongi didn’t dare mention their relationship in any format, because god knows who might be hacking his accounts. It was harder to get privacy anywhere, even at the hotels, and Yoongi learned to live like a camera was watching him all the time, because one usually was. So he couldn’t really ask “are you still my boyfriend?” even though he kind of wanted to. And what the hell did having a boyfriend even mean, with their lives? Dates? Sex? They couldn’t have that, not right now.

Then came the Melon awards. 

In the rush leading up to the awards season, Yoongi was focused on so many things: the new single, working on his mixtape, touring, worries about letting the staff and the members down if they didn’t win...well, he didn’t even realize that Monsta X would be performing at the awards until a few weeks before. Or rather, he knew it, but didn’t really consider what that meant. 

Kihyun. In the same place. Around a million cameras and basically all of Korea watching, sure, but...in the same place. He was going to get to see Kihyun perform, which was almost more exciting than the idea that there was a distant chance he might get laid. 

(Truthfully, it really was more exciting. Yoongi couldn’t wait to see him perform.)

Yoongi didn’t see him until just before the awards started, after the red carpet madness, while he was walking out of the bathroom, back to his seats. 

He was just...there. In the hallway. Talking to one of his managers, looking young and nervous in his stage outfit and full makeup. Yoongi felt years of accumulated feelings bubbling up inside him and he couldn’t catch his breath for a moment. 

Then Kihyun saw him and smiled, and Yoongi felt himself smile, and they were moving toward each other, and then somehow they were hugging, wrapped in each other, and Yoongi found that he could breathe again, his heart pounding in his chest and reverberating in his ears. 

“Hey,” he said, closing his eyes. They couldn’t do more than hug, but it was more than enough.

“Hey yourself,” Kihyun whispered back, tightening his grip. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Yoongi said. He didn’t want to let go, but people were starting to give them curious glances, so he stepped back, still gripping Kihyun by the elbows. “I’m sorry,” Yoongi said, but he wasn’t sure what he was sorry for, really. 

Kihyun shook his head. “We knew who we were when we started all this,” he said, smiling crookedly at Yoongi. 

And it was okay. It was all okay because it didn’t feel any different than it had two years ago, or a year ago, or six months ago. They didn’t have a traditional thing, but they had their thing, and that was just fine.

“Dinner later,” Yoongi said. “Let’s catch up.” 

“If by catch up you mean blowjobs,” Kihyun whispered into his ear, “I am down for that.” 

Yoongi finally let go, laughing. Yeah, they were okay. And while they hadn’t been able to be together much...well, there wasn’t anyone else, either. And that meant something.

“Yeah, you perv,” he said, knocking his shoulder into Kihyun’s. “That’s totally what I meant.”


End file.
